Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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