I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
