Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
