Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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