We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize