Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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