So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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