My sheets look like a crime scene.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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