Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She bit a glass in half.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
