We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize