Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
