Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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