i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize