Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
