i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
