Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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