it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
