Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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