Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
