Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
