I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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