I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
