the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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