My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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