I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize