The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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