I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize