So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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