No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize