Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
