I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
