hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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