Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
