Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize