does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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