i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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