i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
