Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
