I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
