I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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