Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
