Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
