dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
