I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
