Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
