Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
