I haven't been this sober since birth.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
