were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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