Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Still dying that you shit outside
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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