They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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