She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
