My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
