found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
