he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
