Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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