thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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