Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
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