so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
