stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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