a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
