How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
