What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
