also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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