id be glad to
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
