Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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