we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
