I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
