You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
