guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Found the puke drawer
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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