Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize