im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
