So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
